There are some interesting parallels between the rules at the start of Me and My Web Shadow – advice like “get a thicker skin” and “you’re always on the record” – and the three headline changes Emily Nussbaum calls out in her recent New York magazine feature on how young people are adapting to lives lived in the the age of the open web, Say Everything.
- Change 1: They think of themselves as having an audience.
- Change 2: They have archived their adolescence.
- Change 3: Their skin is thicker than yours.
The rest of the article is well worth a read for anyone interested in this topic. It opens with a couple of horror stories, of young women whose ex-partners post sexual images and video of them online and how they have dealt with it.
This is at the extreme end of online bullying and “bad things” but a very real prospect for many young people today. Interestingly, the victims in both these accounts take very different approaches: the first removes themselves as mucha as possible from the web. The other goes on the offensive and mounts a campaign revealing the actions and identity of the former partner.
Young people are necessarily growing tougher when it comes to concerns about self-image, the article suggests, at least many of them are.
we are in the sticky center of a vast psychological experiment, one that’s only just begun to show results. More young people are putting more personal information out in public than any older person ever would—and yet they seem mysteriously healthy and normal, save for an entirely different definition of privacy.
And after all, there is another way to look at this shift. Younger people, one could point out, are the only ones for whom it seems to have sunk in that the idea of a truly private life is already an illusion. Every street in New York has a surveillance camera. Each time you swipe your debit card at Duane Reade or use your MetroCard, that transaction is tracked. Your employer owns your e-mails. The NSA owns your phone calls. Your life is being lived in public whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.
One young man who opened up to the world about his financial difficulties was Casey Serin. His site, Iamfacingforeclosure.com, was a response to the fact that he was being judged by finance companies in part on his web shadow already.
“Once you put something online, you really cannot take it back,” he points out. “You’ve got to be careful what you say—but once you say it, you’ve got to stand by it. And the only way to repair it is to continue to talk, to explain myself, to see it through. If I shut down, I’m at the mercy of what other people say.”
Casey’s response is an instinctive version of the approach I would recommend for many people (and companies) who are being attacked online: “out-open”: be more open than you have to be, make sure that the most useful, comprehensive and engaging account of you comes from yourself. Openness can be disarming, because no one can accuse you of hiding anything, there are fewer blank spaces for malicious gossip and insinuation to thrive in.
